Feeling Normal (1/1)
by FatCat
Summary: Mulder is back, confused and finds a drinking buddy to talk to.


Title:Feeling Normal (1/1)

Author:FatCat ([rah1231@yahoo.com][1])

Rating:PG (some language and implied sex)

Category:MSR

Spoilers:Requiem

Summary:Mulder's back and confused and finds a drinking buddy to confide in.

Disclaimer:Thanks to CC, FOX, 1013, GA, DD, RP and all those others who actually own the show and produce the wonderful characterizations.They own everything but the ideas squiggling around in my brain and flowing out on the Internet. 

Archive:Just keep my name with it and let me know where to go visit.I would be proud to share!

Fox Mulder sat in the darkened room with a really good buzz going.It was the first time since his return that he felt normal—as normal as a drunk felt, that is.He didn't feel like people were staring at him; if they were it was too dark in here to care.He didn't feel strange and slightly shrunken in his own skin.He wasn't afraid.He didn't feel sad and lonely.He felt damn good.

He had quit drinking some time ago and was just enjoying the glow.It hadn't taken but two drinks to set up this buzz.He thought about the fight he and Scully had had that led to this wonderful feeling and knew he had to thank her.He would, later.Right now he was just going to go with the flow.

"Damn a man could get used to feeling normal."He said aloud.

The guy sitting next to him gave a small grunt of agreement.Mulder looked over and smiled at him.

"You know what I mean, Buddy?"He offered.

His newfound friend sat sucking on his drink and let Mulder do the talking.His eyes showed just enough interest to encourage him.

Once again Mulder's thoughts turned to Dana Scully.Dana.When had that name started to mean as much to him as Scully?Scully was his partner—he would lay his life on the line for her.He had gone to the ends of the earth to save her and it still didn't even up the score.She had saved his career, his sanity, most importantly his worthless hide a time or two.

"Scully's my parner…partner, Partner.She's the reason I feel so good right now.We had a fight and I went out and got lit.Obviously the responsible thing to do, huh?Well, I got my reasons!You try being abducted by someone/something and returned 12 months later with no memories and see how responsible you feel.Damn!If a guy's going to be abducted and obviously abused, you'd think he's at least get to keep a few memories to prove that it was aliens."

Mulder's new buddy gave a loud belch and continued to stare at him.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.Aliens.Go ahead and laugh.My whole life has been a joke to everyone.Spooky Mulder and his crazy pursuit of the "Truth."Only Scully believed in me.That's why I love her, yah know?A man has to love a partner that supports him but keeps him grounded like Scully!"

But, said his traitorous mind, what about Dana?When had he started thinking about her as Dana?Was it while he was gone?Is that why it stuck with him now?

His new friend started drinking again.

"I never think of her as Dana when we work.It's only when it's personal that I think of her as Dana.When her father died, I called her Dana.When her sister died, I called her Dana.When she almost died, I called her Dana.When I realized I was in love with her, I didn't just love her, I started calling her Dana—at least in my mind."Mulder thought for a while and a silly grin spread over his face.

"If I tried to call her Dana out loud, she'd probably say 'Oh, Brother!" or maybe even shoot me again.There was a time I could have started calling her Dana.We got close, really close to saying the 'L' word.Just before my disappearance, we even became intimate.I thought it was going to be smooth sailing for us right up to the alter, but the old Mulder luck held out and I disappeared.So where am I, I ask you?Huh?How do I fit in?"

" I haven't exactly been on my "A" game since I got back you know.There's been changes and they're hard to take sometimes.When I came back, there she was when I woke up just like I knew she would be, but not exactly, new partner, and new man.I guess it's too much to want things to stay the same.Not that I want everything to stay the same.I just wish I didn't have to put up with being so weak and with Doggett."

His Bud grunted questioningly, as if wanting more information on that last statement.

"Doggett?Yeah, her new Partner.That's what Skinner called him.I want to hate him, but I just can't seem to.She trusts him to cover her back.That's something.The guy's even seem to grudgingly accept him.What's worse, he and that new chick, Agent Reyes, are the two that found me.Dana's been off on leave." 

"That's another major surprise.She has this other man in her life now.She's with him night and day.I just don't know if there's any time left for me in her life.I guess that's why I picked the argument with her tonight.I wanted to hurt her, make her feel as disconnected as I do.The surprising thing is, I can't help but love this guy like she seems to.She says I should, he's my son too. 

My son!My God what a surprise!Scully was sterile!I have to say it out loud every once in a while to believe it."

"While I was busy being abducted and tortured, my partner—my partner who was sterile due to her abduction—was busy looking for me and gestating my son!Sounds like something from a Jerry Springer show.Unfucking believable!"

Part of me is too happy for words—and that's saying something.I got an Oxford education you know, PHD.But I'm scared.With my family background, what makes her think I could be a good father?Is love enough?What do you think, Buddy?"

Mulder looked directly at his drinking partner and pondered the question.

A soft click warned him the lights were going up.

"Mulder?What are you doing?Why didn't you wake me to feed him?You didn't need to give him a bottle."

Mulder looked at the object of his thoughts and affections and smiled sheepishly."I wanted to do something to apologize for my behavior earlier.I knew you were tired.I didn't hurt him.I put him in his chair so I wouldn't drop him and warmed up the bottle of milk in the fridge just like you showed me."

"I know you wouldn't hurt him, Mulder," she said with a sad smile."Even when you're drinking you're the sweetest soul alive.Just how many did you have?You know you shouldn't mix alcohol with your meds."Her concern for him rushed her into Dr. Scully mode.

"I know;I only had two drinks.I could feel the rush after the first one and knew the drugs were amplifying it, so I cooled it.I'm okay."

She stood by the end of the couch watching the two men she loved more than life itself.Suddenly tears started to roll down her cheeks.

"Hey, hey!Come on!It's okay!"He said as he held his hand out to her. 

She walked forward and slid her hand into his.He pulled her gently onto his lap and she buried her head in the crook of his neck.

"How long have you been standing there?"He asked.

"Long enough."She said quietly."Is that what you're worried about Mulder?That there's no room for you in my life anymore?"

"Yeah."Was his eloquent reply.

She pulled away and cupped his face with her hands, looking directly into his eyes."Mulder, I love you and I want nothing more than to have you in my, our, lives.I just don't want to rush you into any decision that you'll regret later.Can you understand that?I don't know what you went through while you were gone.Even though I was abducted, I obviously did not go through the abuse you suffered.I cannot remember anything from my abduction, but I do remember the confusion I felt about loosing all that time.It must be even worse for you to have to absorb everything about the baby and the expanded X File Department in addition to the time loss.But I want you to know this.I had a whole year and many experiences to shape my feelings.I think I can give you a few months to make up your mind about what you want to do.I'll accept any part of your life you're willing to share with us."

"Scull…Dana, I know what I want.I've known it since before I left for Oregon.I want you to be my wife.The fact that we have a child is miraculous.I want to grow old with you.I want Grandchildren with you.I want more babies, pregnancies I can share with you.I am awed by him and by your strength.I don't need more time.I don't want to waste one more second of one more day apart from you two.Will you two marry me?"He gave her his best grin and continued."I want you to know this isn't the 'painkiller talking' this time."

"Oh, Mulder!Yes!Yes from both of us!"She placed swift kisses all over his face finally settling to kiss him sweetly and passionately on his lips—allthe love in her heart shining through her eyes.Mulder quickly deepened the kiss and slid his arms around her shifting her up onto his arousal.

As if on cue, the baby began to fuss and cry.

"Mulder, let me change him and lay him back down and we can continue this in the bedroom."She slid off his lap and picked the baby up out of his seat next to Mulder on the couch."Let's go big guy!Mommy's got a hot date with Daddy!"

"Uh, Dana, do you think you could call me Fox now that we're going to…you know…be…uhh…married?"

The wide grin she through over her shoulder was all the answer he needed.

'Hot Damn!' he thought.'Who needs normal when you got love?"

   [1]: mailto:rah1231@yahoo.com



End file.
